Saturday, September 28, 2019

4 Effective Steps To Save Your Marriage

By Ron Keeping, Certified Life Coach

Each year, millions of couples get divorced...

For example, there are over 50,000 divorces per year in Canada and a whopping 800,000 divorces in the United States

These are incredible numbers!

How many of those marriages could be saved?

Unfortunately, it's impossible to tell.

Can your marriage be saved? I can't really answer that...

I can tell you that if your marriage is in trouble and you do nothing, the outcome is guaranteed. If you do something, then luckily, there is a much better chance that your marriage will be saved.

And I can tell you, in four simple steps what you can do to save your marriage.

You can start right now. But you must understand that I said "simple." That is not the same as "easy." These steps are not easy. But they do give you a path that you must follow if you want to change the destiny of a marriage in trouble.

Here are the 4 steps:

1. Quit the blame game. 

Don't blame your spouse and don't blame yourself. Getting stuck in this pattern of blame makes it impossible to make any progress. Instead, things only keep getting worse and worse.

Blame is our way of avoiding seeing ourselves clearly. It's a lot easier to point the finger at someone and say, "It's their fault." In marriage, you can also turn that finger on yourself and place the blame there, saying "it's all my fault."

This is hazardous! sure, accuse feels great for the time being, but in the long haul, it avoids any positive change. So, even if you can make a long list of why you or your spouse is to blame, forget it. Even if the list is true, it won't help your marriage. Blame is the fuel of divorces.

2. Take responsibility. 

Realize you can do something. Once you want to see change, the change can begin. Keep in mind that taking responsibility is not the same as taking the blame (see above).

Blame is saying "regardless of who's at fault, there are things that I can do to trigger change, and I'm going to do it." In what ways does your spouse upset you? What things do you do that upsets your spouse? Don't allow these things to upset you, and don't do the things that upset your spouse.

There's a difference between placing blame and taking responsibility. Placing blame is trying to determine who is at fault, but taking responsibility is thinking about how you will take action to save the marriage.

3. Get resources from experts. 

If others have been helped, you can be, too. Experts with a great deal more perspective and experience can be a real help in these situations. Do your research and divide the useless from the useful, then take advantage of the useful.

If counseling is out of the question, I recommend trying the Save The Marriage System. It's spreading like a wildfire of love and saving marriages all over the world!

Albert Einstein said, "The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them." In other words, what got you into trouble will not get you out of trouble. That requires a whole new level of thinking. And that is what you get from an outside expert, someone with a fresh perspective.

4. Take action. 

Understanding the problem is one thing, but you need to take action to change things. Do this on a daily basis. A problem isn't going to resolve itself just because you understand it. You must focus your energy on understanding the problem, then resolving it.

Will your marriage be saved? I hope so! If you follow my suggestions, you're off to a good start. Marriage is one of those places where it takes two to make it work, but only one to really mess things up. You can only do your part, but many times, that is enough.

Remember, counseling isn't possible for everyone, but the Save The Marriage System is. Plus, it comes with a 60-day money-back guarantee. So what do you really have to lose?

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. This means I may make a small commission if you make a purchase. This doesn’t cost you any more, but it does help me to continue publishing helpful content. Thank you for your support!

Thursday, September 26, 2019

8 Ways To Feel Happier

By Ron Keeping, Certified Life Coach

Happiness is something that everyone wants. But, knowing and understanding what makes us happy is sometimes super difficult.
Do you know what makes you happy? Happiness is one of those things you either have or don't have. Your life circumstances, relationships, and emotional state all impact your happiness.
Remember, you aren't always going to be happy, so forget it. When you feel upset with a negative situation, you likely also get upset at the fact that you aren't happy. If you aren't guilty of this, you definitely know someone who is. They might say something like, "I'll never be happy," when something doesn't go as planned.

Here are 8 easy ways to allow yourself to feel happy:

1. Take some time to do one nice thing for yourself daily.
How does taking some time every day to do something nice for yourself sound?
You can get yourself a treat, take some time to meditate, take a little cat-nap, or watch a funny video.
Would you like to take a break from everything every once in a while? Do you want to get a massage, take a vacation, or go see your favorite band live in concert?
When you take care of yourself and your own happiness, you can help others feel happiness, too.

2. Focus on your health.
Start taking supplements and vitamins! Your body needs it. Stay away from junk foods whenever possible. Having the right fuel will push your body and increase your strength and stamina. This is one way of getting a feeling of happiness.
Sugar and other bad eating habits affect our energy and mood which hinders you from being happy.
Exercise is another important factor. Try getting exercise at least 5 times a week, even if it's a 30-minute walk.
Choose an activity that you will enjoy and not get bored with it! For me, I enjoy martial arts. Not only do I love it, but it helps me maintain my self-confidence and discipline.
If you're not into hardcore activities, contact martial arts isn't for you. Try doing tai-chi movements, some light kickboxing, yoga or pilates. As long as blood and oxygen are circulating inside your body. This will activate the body's natural healing abilities. As a result, you'll feel happy.

3. Forgive yourself!
Forgiveness plays a big part in being happy! There are times that we don't really think of forgiving ourselves. But little did we know we often criticize ourselves and it brings down our confidence level.
Forgiving yourself is quite challenging. Most of us have been getting angry at ourselves for some things that we did wrong as time goes by.
We often think of the things that we could have done and could have not done to make things better.
A lot of us get into trouble because we tried to be perfect and beat themselves up if they're not. Loving yourself means accepting yourself.

4. Start your day with a smile!
Start your morning with a prayer, affirmations, and a big smile!
Quality of sleep is very important. When you have a great sleep, be grateful.
Did you know that when you smile, the muscles in our face send a signal to our brains and create a better mood?
When you smile, your body releases a powerful chemical reaction in your brain. That can make you feel happier.
You'll likely realize that if you smile at someone you don't even know, it will send them positive energy. This likely makes them want to pass that smile to the next person and so on and so forth. Great positive karma, right? 

5. Get enough sleep.
As an adult, research shows we need to have at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep for the body and mind to completely rest.
We all know that without enough sleep our body and mind cannot function without enough of it.
That's easy to say, most of you may be thinking, who has the time to sleep when you got loads of work to do to make a living?
Do you think that sacrificing many hours to finish your work-related projects is worth it? Why not consider the effect it will bring to your daily happiness? 
Your body and mind need a lot of rest so it can do its process of repairing and releasing the growth hormones.
Many of these are fixing damaged tissues including the skin. If you don't get enough sleep, you are risking the boosted levels of stress hormones. This can wreck your skin and cause premature aging.
Even by taking a 30-minute nap between the day can give you the feeling of happiness.
If you're having trouble sleeping, try listening to calming audio while you sleep. I recommend the Wake Up Calm audio tracks. These audio tracks use something called Subaudible Soundwave Technology. It's like meditation during sleep. Pretty cool, right? 

6. Be kind to people.
Why is being kind to someone one way of being happy? Showing gratitude to others can be easy, quick, and keep anxiety at bay.
It helps calm the mood and takes the focus off yourself. Being kind to someone produces a contagious smile.
You are most likely causing them to smile. If you see that smile for yourself, you know that you made someone happy and you made yourself happy.
We all feel stress each day. A small act of kindness can turn things around and reduces the stress level quite a bit.
The moment you focus on doing an act of kindness to someone, it helps you get a break from your own problems. This results in you having that feeling of happiness.
Think about it, have you ever met a legit happy person who is mean to others?
Helping someone in your own little way is a big factor in your daily life. And it will lead you to have that feeling of happiness.

7. Talk to a friend or Call someone.
Social contact is a huge contributor to happiness. It can be a phone call, a text, or social media message. 
Make sure that you talk to the right people. You don't want to talk to someone who is always negative or someone who is always putting you down. The quality of our relationships has a great impact on the quality of our lives, and how happy we are.
This small gesture can show your friend that you care about them and want to know what's going on in their life. Make sure that you empathize with them. The last thing you need is to talk about yourself the entire time. Don't come across as selfish and self-centered.
Asking how their day is going and what they have been up to can give you a conversation that you both can enjoy. As a result, you can both experience happiness.
Showing interest in them without wanting anything in return will brighten up the day for both of you.

8. Listen to soothing music.
While I'm a huge fan of rock and metal music, I take some time to listen to more calming/soothing music.
Listening to your favorite band can entertain you and contribute to happiness. But it's also a good idea to set some time aside to listen to something that will chill you out and calm you down.
This is especially the case after a long, hard, stressful day at work. The last thing I want to hear at the end of the day (or before bed) is something screaming at me, or a heavy beat.
Besides Wake Up Calm, there are other audio tracks that will allow you to shift into a lower brainwave state while awake. One of the best I've found is a track called Wired For Joy.

If you put in place these tips, you'll see significant improvements fast!
Good luck!

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. This means I may make a small commission if you make a purchase. This doesn’t cost you any more, but it does help me to continue publishing helpful content. Thank you for your support!

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

5 Proven Ways To Eliminate Stress & Anxiety

By Ron Keeping, Certified Life Coach

“Stress is the trash of modern life-we all generate it but if you don't dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life.” ― Danzae Pace

As a victim of bullying in my teens, I know a thing or two about stress.
It was the early 2000s...
I was a shy kid in school. I didn't have many friends, and I suffered from ADHD (which no one in my small town understood at the time). So people picked on me for being weird.
I would always find myself mentally and emotionally drained. I avoided school as much as possible. I didn't even want to go outside. I wanted to avoid people.
I'd toss and turn all night trying to sleep. I couldn't stop worrying about what awaited me the next day.
Whenever I went to school, I'd fall asleep in class. This would cause my grades to suffer, which made people call me stupid on top of everything else...
So, I would often have anger outbursts at home due to the stress piling up on me.
Unfortunately, this led to me quitting school altogether.

Fast forward to 5 years later...

I had only worked a job for 6 months of my life, and I spent my days playing video games and drinking alcohol. I was going nowhere in life, and I had no drive.
All I could think about is my past, my stress, and my anxiety.
Eventually, I began dating a girl on the internet who had a pretty identical story to my own. Within a year, we were living together, and she was pregnant with my child.
My world was about to change in a big way. I knew that I needed to make some big changes if I were to become a loving father that I needed to be for my child.
I needed to manage my stress and anxiety. I made it my mission to not only manage my stress and anxiety but to help my girlfriend do the same. 
Needless to say, I achieved great success in very little time.
It's been 12 years since I left high school. During that time, I have completed my education, furthered my studies, and have become a life coach.
Crazy, right?
Since managing my stress and anxiety, I have become a whole new person, and I have made it my #1 goal to help others do the same.
Here are some helpful methods that I have personally used to drop my stress and anxiety:

#1: Fine Tune Your Self-Awareness.
The main challenge with stress is that we often get flooded without even knowing that it’s happening.
When you’re submerged in feelings related to anxiety, tension or anger, you need to come up for air. 
Here are some great ways to do that:
  • Practice acceptance: It’s okay to admit to yourself that you’re feeling stressed or anxious. You’re not meant to fight these emotions. Trying to do so often amplifies them. Tell yourself that accepting these negative feelings is NOT the same as giving up. You’re acknowledging that you’re not in the best situation right now - but you’re still doing something about it. This alone can be a source of relief.

  • Practice critical thinking: Being skeptical to stay cool during a stressful time. Question your thoughts related to stress and anxiety. Ask things like, “Am I being rational or am I emotionally reacting to the situation?”
  • Practice mindful breathing or meditation: Slow down and understand what’s happening. That’s why meditation is the perfect way to step outside the moment and observe yourself. As you become more aware of your inner world, you’ll gain better mastery over your emotions. This can be done in less than 10 minutes per day. I recommend 7 Minute Mindfulness

#2: Tame Your Inner Beast.
Stress can trigger feelings of fear, panic or hopelessness. Awareness is the first step. Then you need to direct that negative energy in a constructive direction.
Another way to deal with stress is by rewriting the negative dialogue in your head. Don't project the worst-case scenario in your mind. Counter such thoughts with positive internal dialogue.
For instance, you can come up with a list of positive statements to read to yourself when the occasion calls for it. Try telling yourself things like:
“Everything is going to be alright.”
“I got through this before and I can get through it again.”
“I’m not in an ideal situation now, but I can still take action and make positive changes.”

#3: Eat Better To Feel Better.
The human body can deal with stress better if it’s in a better condition to do so. That’s why a big part of stress management involves being on top of your health.
For starters, cutting out the processed food from your diet is a great step forward. Start eating nutritionally-dense, whole foods. Your body and brain will function much better.
There are billions of microscopic organisms living in your digestive system. They play a significant role in emotional and mental health. Studies show that gut bacteria produce “happy chemicals” such as serotonin and dopamine.

#4: Ditch Your Inner Couch Potato.
Many experts point out the risks of a lifestyle lacking in physical activity. Research shows that inactive people are more likely to develop life-threatening conditions. These conditions include heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and cancer. Learning about this hit me hard, considering how much time I spent playing video games.
Exercise helps cut down these risks big time! Plus it’s your best weapon against the cumulative effects of stress. The best thing you could do for yourself is to figure out a simple exercise routine.
If you can get even get in 10-15 minutes of physical activity daily, you’re already on the right track.
Eventually, you’ll want to make room in your schedule to get in half an hour of exercise 2-3 times a week.
The other easy way to chip away at a sedentary lifestyle is by breaking up long periods of sitting. People who spend most of the day at the computer can get up and move once or twice for every hour of sitting down.
Go somewhere quiet (e.g., the office break room, your living room, an exercise room). Then, do stretches, go for a walk, or do jumping jacks. The more you make a habit of this, the less damage sitting down can do to your body (and add to your stress levels). 

#5: Stay On Top Of Your Bedtime Routine.
A University of Pennsylvania study shows a connection between sleep quality and stress.
Even losing a few hours of sleep can have an impact. It can leave you feeling irritable, agitated, and lethargic. This is why it’s VITAL that you set the right conditions for a good night’s rest.
For example, make sure your bedroom is free of any distractions, such as electronics. Switch off all screens a couple of hours before sleeping. Do something relaxing like read a book, meditate, listening to calming music. I recommend the Wake Up Calm audio tracks. The tracks are Subaudible Soundwave Technology infused. This means that you'll get all the effects of meditation while you sleep!

This quiets down your mind and makes it less likely for you to toss and turn at night. Also, make sure your mattress and pillow are ideal for sleeping, and keep your room as cool and dim as possible.
Don't take this part of the day for granted. Getting a good night’s sleep will make a HUGE difference the next morning.
It sets you up for success and protects you from the stress that builds up throughout the day.
If you implement these tips you should see significant results in no time!

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. This means I may make a small commission if you make a purchase. This doesn’t cost you any more, but it does help me to continue publishing helpful content. Thank you for your support!

4 Effective Steps To Save Your Marriage

By Ron Keeping, Certified Life Coach Each year, millions of couples get divorced... For example, there are over 50,000 divorces per yea...